Some of my most popular blog posts are not about our home renovations or my weight loss journey. No, the most popular posts are the ones where I show you my heart and the inner workings of our marriage. I know there are plenty of people searching the internet as I type that are looking for the secret to a happy, successful marriage. Most people find it difficult to admit what isn’t working for their marriage. No one wants to talk about their marriages falling apart or how they just can’t seem to get things right. You never know what goes on behind closed doors…
Some people look to their church or small groups for the answers. Others seek out friends’ or family members’ advice. What happens when you can’t find help? What happens when you don’t know anyone with the strength and courage to discuss the reality of their marriage with you? What if you don’t know anyone that has true success?
Ryan and I have found ourselves asking some of those questions before. Our friends are about our age and are going through the same things in life that we are. They may be asking themselves those questions! Our parents have all had happy marriages for so long that everything about marriage just seems to come naturally for them. We have struggled with finding people who can break down the parts that work for them.
Nothing comes easy to Ryan and myself when it comes to marriage. You can pretty much guarantee that if there is a long, difficult way to go about something one of us (if not both) will take that direction. We just can’t help ourselves! I imagine that God chuckled to Himself the day we got married. Two of the most stubborn, aggressive people you can imagine decided it would be a fabulous idea to start a life together.
We have not had it easy. I’m sure we’ve complicated things so much more than necessary along the way. I believe strongly that God should be at the very center of our marriage. It’s almost been a year since I wrote this post. I still believe every single word I wrote. We struggle from time to time, adjusting here and there. We try to wait patiently while God works in our hearts. It’s not an easy process and we still struggle sometimes.
I do have a few suggestions if you’re stuck:
- Accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior!
- Seek a personal relationship God!
- Find a church home.
- Join a Sunday school class or small group.
- Begin reading your Bible.
- Begin the Love Dare. You can do this with or without your spouse.
- Pray for a change in your heart and in your marriage.
- Do a Bible study concerning marriage
- Start talking with those around you! Seek their help and advice for a healthy marriage. Just asking can get people to open up and share their experiences with you.
- Pray for God to make changes in YOU…not your spouse. Most of the time women like to “fix” men and never give ourselves a second thought!
Ryan is always going to be the one person I want beside me through the happy times, the sad times, the tough times, and all of the times in-between. My marriage and my husband are one hundred percent worth fighting for. God never promised that life will be easy and that marriage will be a fairy tale. The Lord does promise to be there when I rejoice and when I struggle. One day when we look back at the difficult times, we will realize that it was necessary to appreciate each other.