Monday, February 4, 2013

No Plans

I'm half a pound away from the 50 pounds lost mark! How unreal is that?? When I began, fifty pounds just seemed so far away and so unattainable. Now that I'm almost there, it still seems unbelievable.

Since commercials are constantly pushing us to keep our New Year's resolution to lose weight, my TV is bombarded by ads to help you lose it fast. They're all the same... So and so lost 43 pounds and is keeping it off. Or someone else lost 35 pounds...but what happens when they come off of these plans?

Well, I can tell you exactly what I did...

I tried L.A. Weight Loss and Weight Watchers years ago. Yes, they worked a little. The moment I stopped following their plan, I gained it all back and then some. Want to know why?

I never learned how to live a healthy life on my own. Sure, it's super easy to lose weight when someone is telling you exactly how to do it. But honestly, who wants to live their entire life on a plan? Not me! I want to make healthy decisions without counting points and obsessing over every single piece of food I eat. That's not life.

When I began, I wanted to do it a better way. Yes, I tried Sensa for a month or two to get myself started. But I learned something really quick. I don't need forty-seven meal plans, supplements, and diet bars. I didn't need to spend hundreds of dollars to temporarily lose pounds. I needed to do this on my own.

I had to discover what was causing me to not take care of my body properly. Plain and simple.

I am a very emotional eater. I can recognize that now. If I can control my emotions, I can control my eating problems. This is just so much more than counting points and meal plans. Those things cannot address the deeper issues that caused me to gain weight.

I also had poor self-esteem. Again, no amount of diet supplements and bars can fix that.

I remember that I would find myself in these cycles of emotions and low self-esteem. I would get upset over something in life and I would drown my sorrows in pasta and ice cream. Sure, it would temporarily make me feel a little better....until I looked in the mirror. Then my self-esteem took another hit. Day after day, year after year. I did this to my body. I quit caring. I was numb to the fact that I was missing out on parts of life. I didn't have the energy to play with my son on the playground. I stood back taking pictures of Ryan and Caleb running around. Heck, my butt wouldn't fit in a swing at the playground. Talk about tough, friends.

I began turning my problems and worries over to the Lord. I honestly cannot handle my emotions! I get my feelings hurt easily, I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I am beyond gullible. And it was just so out of control. Someone could say something to me and I'd cry. I could worry myself into an anxiety attack, friends.

I totally found peace in the Lord. My life was completely turned upside down last year when the tornado hit the marina. God taught me over the past year to just lean on Him through it all. It hasn't been easy and I still struggle to turn it all over to Him at times. But, my life is just so much happier when I do. Plain and simple.

When I started caring enough to take care of myself, I learned a new kind of self esteem. I set my goal to be a better wife and mother. I wanted to participate in our life together instead of standing back taking all of the pictures. I want to live so bad that I can barely stand it. I have dreams of lying on a beach or a boat (unashamed of my body) with my husband while we watch Caleb play. I want to run a 5K. I want to never shy away from another picture again in my life. I want to actually teach my child how to play baseball, soccer and football. I don't want to be on the sidelines of my life anymore.



Last year I never imagined I would tell you all of my insecurities or share the most private part of my life with you. If I can help just one person live a better life by controlling their weight issue, it was worth every single moment. Stop searching for the miracle cure or program. Search inside yourself and find out what is causing you to hurt your body. Then do something about it. If I (Queen of Emotions and Poor Self Esteem) can do it, I know you can.
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1 comment:

  1. Loved reading this. I am so proud of you!!!

    ReplyDelete

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