I take a ton of pictures. My husband laughs at me every time we go somewhere. I'm just never without my camera or my iPhone. I adore my child and I want to capture all his crazy moments.
I was always so embarrassed every time I saw the pictures of Caleb and me. At the time I honestly felt like I was ruining every picture with my family.
Now I'm kinda glad I have them. They show my battle. They show my struggles and my heartbreak. They are the reminder. I so desperately want to take care of myself because I don't want to feel like that again. They are my motivation. They are also my reward now. I can see the proof and there's nothing small about it!
Same spot, three years ago, at a local park.
Several times I have asked my husband why he didn't say something.
He keeps telling me that he never realized things had gotten that bad.
Bless his heart, I just love that man. He has loved me completely through each and every size. He loves me for me and I find that unbelievably special.
Ryan and I were comparing pictures one evening. Caleb leaned over and saw this picture...
He asked, "Mama, who is that woman???"
When I explained that was his very own mother holding his cousin, he actually argued with me. My own child did not recognize his mama.
I'm so happy that this is how he "knows" me.
And yes, I seriously cried.