I have finally said goodbye to the maternity swimsuit. Yeah, the one I got while I was pregnant with Caleb and then wore until he was almost three. I cried the moment I put it in the garbage. Throwing it away is part of throwing away my old lifestyle and embracing my new one.
I was thrilled to have pictures of Caleb's first trip to the beach....until I saw how big I had gotten.
There's nothing like the sadness that washes over you when you're embarrassed to do things with your family. There's nothing like looking at your beautiful family and feeling like you just don't fit in. And there's never going to be another "first" trip to the beach with Caleb.
These beach pictures were taken 8 hours after I found myself with excruciating heartburn (again) at 2 am in a hotel room in the middle of nowhere. As I sat on the cold bathroom floor vomiting blood, I knew that I had reached my absolute breaking point. I cried silently, scared to death I was dying, and trying my best not to wake Ryan and the kids. In that moment I knew I could either let my extra weight kill me or I could do something about it.
I refuse to feel that way anymore. Even if I don't lose another pound, I am so much happier and healthier than I was.
I have shed the old life that was slowly killing me. Now I've left the maternity swimsuit behind too.