Caleb was quickly approaching the two year old mark. My toddler was growing like crazy...and so was I!
On our beach trip, I wore my maternity swimsuit. It's the only thing that fit. I couldn't breakdown and buy another swimsuit because in my mind I didn't want to face reality.
I didn't want to purchase something in a bigger size. I didn't want to shop. No, that meant facing reality and I sure wasn't ready for that!
Standing in a dressing room.....trying on swimsuit after swimsuit that wouldn't look right....staring at my fat rolls and cellulite. No, I wasn't going there. It was just easier to pretend that things weren't that bad.
Pictures have a way of forcing you to see how things truly are.
An extra large swimsuit from Motherhood Maternity.
Nearly two years after having the kid???
Oh yeah, baby....That was all me.
I thought it was hiding everything.
Until I saw the pictures.
I decided that I was one of those moms who would never brave a two piece again. I accepted it and decided that I could be okay with that.
I never imagined I could do greater for myself. I never thought I would even have the confidence to try for something better. My brain was stuck in this awful cycle.
I thought that I was just too far gone. I didn't know how to start.
How had this become my life?
Where did the fun loving, happy, bouncy person go? Where was my complete joy in life? Why did I have this beautiful family and feel like I didn't fit in?
Who was I?