Friday, December 27, 2013

Not Giving In

 My blog is where I hold myself accountable. I can't lie to y'all and show my face around here. If I gain, you're the ones who will notice. If I cheat on this whole healthy living thing, y'all will know. There's just no hiding it! It's no secret that I've struggled. I kept telling myself if I could just make it through Christmas without gaining a ton of weight, I'd consider myself fortunate. 


The pictures on the left were shared with you in August. The pictures on the right were taken yesterday in one of my new outfits on Christmas Day. 


Since I've not lost anything for a while, I've really struggled mentally. Some days I just wake up and feel so blah about my body. There are days I still see myself as the big girl from the very beginning. Sometimes it takes updated pictures and comparisons to put everything back into perspective. 


The weight loss part of things was only half the battle. The rest of it is a mental and emotional thing. I've learned slowly how powerful my mind is when it comes to taking care of my body. Weight gain is such a mental struggle. I'm amazed that it takes so much longer to heal from the emotional side of this journey than it takes to see the results on the outside. 


Taking a break has shown me some things over the past few months... 

  • I can maintain the work I put into my body. I have never been able to do something like that and I'm actually really proud of myself. I know now that I don't have to go extreme with things to keep from spiraling out of control. 
  • I've taken a step back to focus and remind myself why I'm doing this. It isn't to gain sponsors and new readers here (even though I absolutely love that side of it). It's about me...physically and mentally. This is something I have to do for myself. 
  • I'm reminded that this time around, it's permanent. I'm not going back to the way things were. I'm not starting over again. I think on some level I am scared to death of how much worse things could have been. I'm afraid of how bad I can let myself go if I stop caring. 



The one on the left was taken in September

I realize some of you are new here. You may just be getting started. It is absolutely worth every effort I have put into this. I struggle and it's absolutely normal. Please don't think that you cannot achieve your goals because you're struggling so hard. I promise that's absolutely normal. I've done it and just about every other person I've met that has lost a lot of weight will tell you the same thing. 

Weight loss has never been easy for me. I have been concerned about my weight and had issues with food since I was in elementary school. I was never the small girl in a group of friends. I normally was the biggest. I've never had a healthy perspective of my body. I am a very emotional eater. 

You are never too far gone to change things. 




20 comments:

  1. I am so proud of you girl!!!! You inspire me so much!!!

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  2. That's amazing work! Keep it up!!

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  3. Great job! I am just starting out & your pictures are motivating enough to kick me in the butt!!

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  4. You have done an amazing job! Personally, you have the body I'm working towards, you are definitely a success story in my book!!!

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  5. I'm new to your blog and WOW. You have done. this. thing. right! It's never linear, it's never easy, and there are always crises of conscience . . . taking a break can sometimes be the best thing, I think - a way to refocus your efforts and, like you did, remind yourself of why you're doing this in the first place. Just look at those pictures - you're not "blah," you're badass. Keep up the great work!

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  6. Really terrific results. I hope to be able to maintain the focus and dedication you show. Great job!

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  7. girl, you look amazing!! Keep rocking your goals!!!

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  8. You are doing fab - keep it up! I am so glad that someone else understands the bad day thing too!!!

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  9. Wow!! You are gorgeous. Keep at it! :)

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  10. You are absolutely correct: most of the struggle involves our mind & emotions. When we conquer them, there is no stopping us. Bad days, plateaus, and missteps will happen; we just have to remind ourselves of our strengths and victories. Way to rock it!

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  11. What an inspiration!! I love the story that your pictures tell. So many people want results instantly... THey don't come instantly. They do come, but not without hard work and dedication!

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  12. you look great, such an inspiration. Good luck in 2014

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  13. Your before and after pictures are amazing. You just look so absolutely fabulous now!

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  14. Wow you are looking great, you have done so well. Keep up the good work

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  15. What great progress you have made….As someone above said the journey is not a straight line there are ups and downs. Congrats on all your hard work….and Happy New Year

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  16. Wow!!!!! Those are amazing pictures to remind you how far you have come. Way to go!!- Terri H

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  17. You look amazing! Your pictures and story are very inspiring, so glad I found your blog.

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  18. You are ROCKING this! You look amazing! All of us in Mamavation are here to keep cheering you on in your journey. This is so inspiring. :)

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