I've been severely obese...I've been healthy....and everything in between.
When I was overweight, I dreamed of the day that my body would be accepted. Society tells us that happiness is being thin. We get this grand idea that once we are "normal' or skinny, everything will just magically fall into place. We deep down believe that our bodies will finally be accepted.
That's not the truth.
It's actually very far from it.
I was judged because I was fat. And I'm still judged because I'm not.
Every aspect of my lifestyle change has been dissected and criticized by people close to me. I'd love to tell you that it doesn't hurt, but I won't sugar coat it. I try my best to justify their words.... Maybe it's because they've never known me at this size.....Maybe it's a little jealousy....Who really knows. I try to find the good in people even when they're hurting me.
Sometimes I desperately want them to come here. Maybe they'd know I don't starve myself. I get all kinds of ugly acting when I don't eat. I simply cannot do that to my body! Maybe they'd know I don't just eat salads every single meal. Some days I just really pig out, but I make sure there's balance and I don't do it for days. Maybe they'd realize that I work hard for my body. If they saw my stomach maybe they'd realize that starving simply does not give me the muscle definition that I have. I've worked hard for what I have. I've done things nice and slow. Maybe if they understood that two and a half years and no sagging, loose skin can testify to that, they would see I am not doing this unhealthy. Maybe if they spent a week with me, they'd see that I eat coconut cream pie, grilled chicken nachos, and dark chocolate. Maybe then they'd see that I refuse to deprive myself because I've worked hard.
Then again, maybe they do read.... maybe they do see....
I realized something important this week.
I'm going to be criticized for things. I'm not everyone's cup of tea. Some people love me...others not so much. I can't please everyone. But then again, I'm not supposed to!
I'd honestly be fine if I didn't lose another pound. But if I do, I celebrate it! I am 145 pounds and proud of it. I'm not "too skinny" or sick looking or unhealthy. I am strong....I am toned....I am fit...I am healthy...I am not bending to someone else's insecurities. I will not let someone else's words make me feel bad for taking control of my life and my health. I will not be ashamed of it.
I challenge all of us to stop criticizing and picking apart other women. It doesn't matter if you're 200 or 115 pounds. If we supported the people around us instead of tearing them down, we'd possibly inspire each other to greatness. Imagine someone trying to lose weight with a bigger support system....maybe she'd reach her goals. Imagine a woman struggling with an eating disorder with a support system...maybe she'd conquer it. Maybe she'd never have developed it.
We all have a story. We all have a different journey. No more judging....