Sunday, May 11, 2014

Then and Now

Mother's Day is a tough holiday for me. It's actually perfect now and I really enjoy it, but I have really bad memories of a certain Mother's Day. In 2011, I spent Mother's Day without my child and had a long trip to the emergency room.  (You can read all about that mess right here....)

Today kinda triggered my emotions. Ryan and Caleb decided to take me to breakfast this morning. While I was getting ready to go, I flipped my hair over to dry it. As I was drying my hair, I remembered that very action caused my back to go out. I kept thinking, "My body is just so much stronger now." 

We got in the car and headed out. All of a sudden, I sneezed. (I swear my allergies are terrible this time of year...) In 2011, I sneezed on our way to breakfast and something in my back popped. It was one of the worst pains in my entire life... Today, I can sneeze without worry. 

We picked Cracker Barrel and just so happened to pull in the same parking spot as we did in 2011. I absolutely lost it! I could not stop laughing! 

Ryan looked at me like I had lost my ever lovin' mind until I explained everything. Today was almost identical to the morning of 2011. Except for one huge thing....

My body is stronger! 

My weight gain caused my back issues for over a year. When I don't move my body and stay active, the discs in my back fill with fluid and it causes pain. As long as I stay active, I don't have back issues at all. 

I'm still haunted by memories. They follow me even though I try to put them behind me. But they are so much easier to deal with now. I don't have to worry about being limited by health conditions. I am grateful every single day for that. Some days certain things trigger my emotions, but I am filled with so much relief and happiness that I don't have to live that life anymore. 

I simply get to focus on loving this little boy! 

Even though I didn't get to have moments like this on Mother's Day morning in 2011, I finally get to have them now. And they are so much happier than I ever imagined. 

I get to be the mother that this child deserves.... 
He's my wild and crazy boy and he has a wild and crazy mama. 

1 comment:

  1. Happy Mother's Day! I'm so proud of all your accomplishments <3



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