Monday, July 21, 2014

Motivation Monday #linkup: Why?

People close to me sometimes ask why I "put myself through all of this". I think for some of them it's hard to understand why I eat clean, why I throw everything I have into my workouts, or why I choose to teach something physically hard. There are days they see me frustrated when my body isn't cooperating. They've seen me pass up that amazing piece of cheesecake. They don't quite understand why I feel this huge drive to reach 100 pounds lost. I guess on the outside it does look kinda tough. 

#selfmotivation Weight loss Doing it for me
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I think some of them are forgetting that I spent so many years not having any discipline or care for my personal health. I think they seem to forget how sick I allowed myself to become. I killed my gallbladder, I vomited stomach acid regularly, and I was mentally depressed. What kind of life is that for anyone? 

Granted it's been almost three years since I took control of my life, but those things stick with me. I haven't forgotten how that feels. I haven't forgotten how it feels to be labeled severely obese. The disgusted looks from people. Or how my doctor suggested it was time for gastric bypass and that I would in fact be a good candidate. I can't forget sitting in the living room floor praying to just feel better because I thought my life was that awful. I can't forget how old and weak I felt. I can't forget all of those pictures of me. 

Why do I keep going? 

Maybe it's because I feel so empowered, so strong, so capable when I push myself through two hours of Zumba® classes. Every time I am in awe of what my body can actually do because I've never experienced it like this before. Maybe it's because I have such joy in seeing the number on the scale drop. Maybe it's trying on a smaller size and realizing you never dreamed you'd ever be able wear something like that. Maybe it's knowing that I have helped so many women continue on their own weight loss journey. Maybe it's having my son wrap his little arms around my waist while telling me I'm so pretty. Maybe it's because I'm actually healthy for the first time in my adult life. 

My body feels so much better when I take care of it. It's not miserable for me at all to choose veggies and fruits over something fried and greasy. I'd much rather be dancing than sitting around. I can maybe go two days without a workout before I start feeling irritable and antsy. 

I do it for me. 

When there's no one left to remember, I do. You choose your tough. 

6 comments:

  1. I just love this post. I was told all my life to lose weight, and I remember in college, many years ago, that I lost 100 pounds. I was still very much overweight, but I remember someone telling me that I was losing too much weight. Are you serious? Like what is the right weight. It wasn't until this year that I finally accepted that this is my own journey. I am going to get to the weight that is best for me. You really do inspire me and many others from week to week. hope you have a great week.

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  2. I think it's sad that your doctor suggested gastric bypass. I see your before pictures and you have come a long way, but you were no where near morbidly obese.

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  3. Perfectly put and go you!!! Those feelings and memories never go away, but you are working for your future. Go you!! Thank you for another encouraging post!!

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  4. This was such a reminder for myself and an encouragement. I'm always eating something very different(healthy) from what my friends, or husband even will be eating and working out is like therapy for me and certain people don't seem to get it, but I realize they don't need to. Well said, and thanks for such an amazing blog to read! *subscribe* :-)

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  5. Great post! I think a lot of people ask that about many of us on our own journeys. I always remind myself that it's not theirs to understand. I used to not be OK with that; but the saying always sticks now. "Not everyone will understand your journey. It's not their to understand." :) Great points here though.

    I'll be joining with a post this evening :) taking a minute to finish this one. Thank you for hosting a great #linkup

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  6. I think you're doing an amazing job and not only are you keeping yourself motivated to keep going and reach your goals, but you've helped us all stay motivated as well! I think it's awesome that you keep your eye on the prize and don't give up!

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