- I'm still in a state of shock over my community. There's just so much disbelief that this could happen right here in my city. Ryan and I couldn't imagine a better place to live and call home. We want to raise our family here. Nothing this week can change that for us. I am just so proud to live in a beautiful city standing together against evil.
- Through all of this, I am amazed to see so many pray! Some days you feel so alone as a Christian. You often wonder if the country as a whole is too far gone to go to the Lord in prayer. Weeks like this show me that not all hope is lost.
- I am experiencing a lot of swelling during my steroid treatments this week. Everything is just so puffy and yucky. Hey....Those sock lines around my ankles are super cute.
- That led me to researching extended use of steroids. I have been treated with steroids several times over the past four months. That certainly isn't fabulous. The side effects from long term treatment can result in adrenal issues (Well, goodbye metabolism....I wondered where it had gone....), muscle fatigue (Oh, yeah.... Those days that I know I could workout harder and I couldn't understand why my body just can't), and weight gain (great......).
- I am now experimenting with conquering the side effects. I obviously cannot stop treatment, but that doesn't mean I have to lie down and accept the rest of it. I'm still trying some things, but I will update with any success I find.
- I have worked hard to accept my body for what it is this week. I realize that my body is sick and I have to care for it better right now. I know my husband loves me just the way I am, any way I am. At the end of the day, that is what matters. He loves and accepts me at any size. I am working on accepting my puffier self gracefully. My biggest fear is regaining the weight I've lost. This illness is bringing out a lot of panic since nothing seems to help with the weight loss at this point.
- I have no energy, but my mind is stuffed full of potential songs to choreograph. My stepdaughter and I jump in the car and play music constantly. I have to admit that she's given me plenty of new stuff to work on. I would never have considered some of the music without her. I now have a huge rush of inspiration and I am dying to play around with it.
- We are hoping and praying that we can close on our old house next week. This has been such a drawn out experience for everyone involved and I just really would like to see some closure soon.
- I've scheduled some much needed downtime for our family. Our vacation is approaching and I am just so ready to have my butt planted in the sand. I found out a very dear friend will be visiting me one of those days and I am just so thrilled. We are both determined to embrace life fully and have fun in the process. So that leaves her driving about six hours one way, me driving 7, and us converging in the middle.