The first day I dropped him off in the car line. It literally felt like I was throwing my kid out on the side of the road to fend for himself. I cried when I got out of sight....
Then we tried a different approach. I walked him in early the next time and it was a little easier for both of us! Day five and I think we may finally be getting a handle on things. I think we're going to make it. Ha!
Meanwhile, I have flung myself back into Zumba® classes. It feels amazing! My body is tired, but it's a good kind of accomplished tired. Last week my doctors determined I am suffering from adrenal crisis due to all of the steroids I've been on for months. I am currently being treated for it. I am finally beginning to see some changes and I am quietly hopeful.
With fall coming and the weather getting just a bit cooler, I changed things up. I chopped off about six inches of hair and went to the dark side. It's drastic, but I think it's just what I have needed lately. Mentally I think I'm going through some major changes. My health has sidelined me and made me reevaluate my lifestyle. Last year my biggest goal was to see how small I could get. I didn't realize that it consumed me and I gave up so much just to be smaller.
That's not what life is all about. Now that I haven't had it, being healthy means so much more. I admit that I am still struggling with accepting the weight gain. I do think I will drop weight once I get my health issues straightened out, but I am growing impatient. My mind is ready to do so much, but my body isn't letting me yet.
I guess I'm trying to discover my new normal and find the motivation I need to redirect things.